Of Mornings after
by Scarpan D
Summary: Shaw is not good at morning after, neither is Root, maybe they'll never be.


**Author's notes: **This is supposed to take place after Samaritan's defeat, it was intended to be fluff but ended kind of angsty which is very common with this pair (happy ending tho), and well Shaw and fluff can get really out of character so please forgive me if it feels that way, I really tried my hardest. I did revise this 4 or 5 times before publishing, but English is not my first language so any mistakes please tell me, so I can work on them.

Happy reading!

**Person of Interest and its characters are not mine.**

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><p><strong>Of mornings after<strong>

By Yae

1.

Sameen knows she's not good at this, and yet, she let it happen, this is different though, she wakes up warm, but not the kind that comes from warm sheets, this warm comes from inside of her and spreads all over her body making her skin tingle, it's new and unsettling and she hates it.

She's not good at this and they both knew it, so she moves slowly, untangling herself from Root, careful of not to wake her, until she is able to sit up and get off of bed.

She gathers her clothes and gets ready to go, pretending she hasn't realized her companion woke up at some point between looking for her clothes and putting them on.

She's not good at this, she's not…

But that does not mean she is not feeling _something _when she opens the bedroom door and Root just keeps quiet, it doesn't mean she does not hesitate at the door.

She _is_ feeling something, even if she doesn't know _what_ that something is…

She wishes it were anger…

It's not.

And when the door closes behind her she realizes there is no warm spreading through her, making her toes tingle and the corner of her mouth go upwards without her permission, instead there is nothing, except that unsettling feeling of uncertainty, like she should stay and run away at the same time, like moving and stopping, like indecision…

So she stays still for a minute, or two, or more, until the feeling passes and she can breathe again, then she moves.

She walks away.

She's not good at this and still, when she's alone in her empty apartment she can't shake the memories, the feeling of soft skin under her fingertips, playful lips against her lips, warm spreading through her body, burning and hurting and then healing and…

She is not good at this, she reminds herself, and they both know it.

Still she can't help but wonder…

What if…

-…-

2.

When Root wakes up is because she is getting cold, there's movement in the room, and she is about to roll and smile lazily but then she remembers…

The touches, the pain, she's still sore in the best of ways and this is not the first time they do this, but it is the first time they do _this_ and… They're not good at it.

Because she's not supposed to roll over and drag her into the sheets again, she's not supposed to playfully kiss and bite, and she's not supposed to tease or bribe her with breakfast in bed for just five more minutes of touches and kisses that would go much longer than that, she's not supposed to do any of that.

But she wants, wants, wants…

So she closes her eyes, pretends she's still asleep and reminds herself… They're not good at this.

They're not.

She closes her eyes and tries to not listen, tries hard to not listen because it sounds like rejection.

Root waits until the sound of the door closing startles her, it pulls her out of bed and before she knows it she's reaching for the doorknob stopping when the voice in her ear tells her Sameen is still there, unmoving.

"She is outside?" Root murmurs.

"yes" the machine responds and Root wonders if Sameen is waiting.

Root wants to know _what_ is she waiting, she wants the answer to be her. She wants, wants, wants…

She hesitates, then reaches for the doorknob again but the machine is telling her Sameen is gone, she realizes then that she's standing there naked, about to open the door, so she drops her hand and remembers…

They're not good at this, she _knows_, _they_ know.

But…

What if…

-…-

3.

They're not good at this, they're really not, but, how do you avoid it when you're both wide awake?

When you were not sneaky enough to get out just before the other woke up?

Shaw knows she's never been sneaky enough, Root never calls her out on it though, she suspects Root never would. Shaw is kind of grateful for that, she already broke two of her "rules", and yet, she's thinking about what it would be, if they weren't so bad at this.

So she waits, because she doesn't know what is next, should she reach for Root or should she say something, or maybe shoot that stupid alarm clock that startled them both into _this_ awkward situation where they're just there, not looking at each other, not touching each other, not doing anything.

Shaw loathes this uncertainty, she hates it and avoids it as much as she can, and she knows there is no way they're going to get out of here unscathed, someone is going to get hurt, she hates the fact that it will probably be Root.

There is a voice in the back of her mind that tells her that she could be the one hurt, it's something that was not supposed to be possible because she doesn't care.

Except that she kind of does.

She's not very good at this.

So she waits…

-…-

4.

Root woke up to the sound of an alarm clock she didn't set up, and it keeps noisily telling them it's time to get up.

This is the first time they are both awake at the same time, well, that's a lie.

This is the first time she could not pretend she's still asleep so Shaw can sneak out like this never happened.

Root knew they would end up like this at some point, it doesn't mean she knows what to do.

And so here they are, laying side by side on a messy bed in a random hotel room, both naked and staring at the ceiling as if there were something fascinating in it. The space between them felt farther than it actually was, the alarm clock had stopped at some point, after being unattended for too long.

The machine was quiet in her ear, has been for some time after Samaritan's defeat, talking only to give her numbers or instructions or random facts that make her smile when she's having a bad day.

The sound of a sigh drags her attention to her side, acknowledging Shaw for the first time, a sense of dread invading her, this is it, she thinks, this is the moment Shaw would break her heart, the moment Shaw would tell her they needed to stop, that they could not keep doing this_,_ whatever _this_ is.

And really, Why would Shaw want to be with her?, she didn't deserve it, didn't deserve all of _this_ no matter how much she wanted it, she didn't deserve Shaw, and when she tried to tell her just that, Shaw turned to her, their eyes finding each other's making the moment heavier, more important than ever.

Root snapped her mouth closed, her teeth clashing together with a loud noise, and swallowed hard.

"I'm not good at this" Shaw said, voice hoarse from sleep, a tint of annoyance in her expression, Root tried to not wince, to not show how much this hurt, Shaw saw it anyway.

"I know" Root said, glad her voice didn't betray her, "it has been fun, though" her playful tone seemed forced and wrong making Shaw frown, she got out of bed looking for her clothes, avoiding Shaw's eyes the best she could, she swallowed hard before stilling herself "maybe we should stop" she said finally looking at Shaw noticing her frown for the first time.

"Is that what you want?" Shaw snapped throwing the sheets harshly aside so she could get dressed too.

Root looked at her confused "Isn't that what _you_ want?" she asked, Shaw looked at her sharply.

"What _I_ want…" Shaw said voice dripping with annoyance "is shooting bad guys, a bottle of good alcohol, maybe a well-cooked steak" she stared at Root then, her eyes traveled slowly through Root's body, going from her legs and up, up, up until she reached her eyes "a good fuck" she shrugged, sounding harsher than she intended and Root winced again. Shaw shook her head and keep putting her underwear on.

"You're angry" Root pointed out.

"Of course I'm angry!" said Shaw loudly, throwing her hands in exasperation "that's actually the only emotion I know _how_ to feel"

"Oh…" Root breathed out "so… you don't want to break up with me?" she winced again when she realized what she said

"We are _not_ together" said Shaw immediately sounding defensive.

"Ok" Root nodded, slow and careful, like she was dealing with explosives and any wrong move would set Shaw off.

Shaw hated it, and suddenly all her anger dissipated, leaving her empty and confused and not knowing what to do, what to say, she let herself sit on the foot of the bed and let out a tired sigh.

"Then what is it?" Root asked

Shaw looked at her then, admiring how beautiful she was, clad only in her underwear and an open shirt, Root deserved better, she thought, she deserved more than heated encounters in random hotel rooms, deserved better that someone unable to feel properly, she deserved better than Shaw, and yet here she was, selfishly taking, taking, taking, not giving anything, _never_ giving anything.

"This thing" she said then, pointing first to Root and then to herself "Even _I_ know is not fair"

"What are you talking about?" asked Root incredulous "I'm not asking for anything"

"Exactly" Shaw said tired, startling Root who went suddenly quiet and stared at Shaw for a little too long "Root… maybe you should ask"

A teasing smile was forming on Root's face and she bit the corner of her lip, she got closer, her hips moving slowly with every step, she didn't stop until she was straddling Shaw's lap, her arms on Shaw's shoulders and their faces so close their noses were touching.

"What makes you think I'm not taking anything?" she asked, but they both knew that was a lie.

"Root" Shaw said again, stern, she squeezed Root's hip softly "What do _you_ want?" she asked putting just enough distance to look at Root's face.

"I won't ask for much" said Root hesitantly and Shaw nodded "I, actually want the same you want"

"Root…" Shaw started but Root shook her head and put her hand on Shaw's cheek

"No" she said "hear me out" Root continued when Shaw nodded "I want to shoot some bad guys, a good bottle of wine, very good sex…" she smiled playfully, but then her smile turned sad, her eyes fixed in a space behind Shaw where the memories of what she could lose were still fresh between messy sheets, she shrugged "morning sex once in a while… maybe breakfast" she said, her tone full of doubt and fear that she was not able to hide.

Shaw thought it sounded like defeat, it was wrong and she hated it.

"Ok" Shaw nodded

"Ok?" Root asked a little surprised

Shaw knew what Root was really asking for, she was asking for mornings after without her sneaking out like they didn't happen, like they were a secret or a mistake, Root was asking for _more_, and Shaw was not sure how much she would be able to give, but she was willing to _try_.

Because she was selfish, and she wanted Root for herself.

"yeah" she said shrugging "I enjoy sex and food" then she closed the gap, kissing her, one hand sliding under her shirt, the other went to her thigh pulling her closer, Root responded in kind, deepening the kiss and letting Shaw pick her up and move her until she was laying in the middle of the bed Shaw hovering over her, a smile gracing their lips.

"We should start now" Shaw said between kisses.

"Ok" Root said breathlessly when Shaw focused her efforts on her neck, hands wandering, their bodies moving slowly and in synchrony, following a rhythm only they knew, pain and pleasure blurring together until there was no difference.

And maybe, Shaw was not good at this.

But hell, it was worth a try.

End

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><p><em>Thank you for reading! Reviews are very much appreciated. :)<em>


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